A reminder
Women (Part 1)(A lecture by Maulana Ehsan) All Praises to Allah and peace on the honorable Messenger (May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him.) What comes after. My brothers, friends, and collegues. Just like Allah has made the sky and the ground, Allah the Most High has made amongst humans, men and women.
If there were no women, there would be no humans left on the earth. Of the human beings, some Allah has made men, and some Allah has made women. Hadhrat Muhammed (May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him), the blessing of the seal of the prophets, when he gave the duty of conveying Allah's message to the people, he taught the method to men, and he taught the method to women. Just like the Sahabah (companions of prophet Muhammed [May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him]) men gave the invitation to Allah, the women also gave the invitation to Allah. Some of the big Sahabahs, Hadhrat Abu Bakr, Hadhrat Ali , (may Allah the Most High be>pleased with them) used to give the invitation to Islam for the men. Hadhrat Umar, Hadhrat Uthman , (may Allah the Most High be pleased with them), these two caliphs, used to give the invitation for the women.
Hadhrat Umar (may Allah the Most High be pleased with him) accepted Islam through his sister. Uthman (may Allah the Most High be pleased with him) says, "When I went home, my Aunt Saadah was sitting. I>sat next to her, and she gave me the invitation to Islam. Her talk affected my heart. She left and I went>to my friend Abu Bakr, for advice. Abu Bakr said that she said the complete truth. Muhammed (May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) is indeed the Messenger of Allah, believe in him. At this time Muhammed (May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) entered, and I accepted Islam." Ikrimah bin abi Jahl (May Allah be pleased with him) entered into Islam from the invitation of his wife. Hadhrat Amr ibn Aas entered into Islam from the invitation of his Aunt. Sacrificing their lifes and wealth, the Sahabah men made the efforts to call to the religion, and the Sahabah women made efforts to call to the religion.
The highest sacrifice in the way of Allah is that the person lay out what he has, and spend it in the cause of Allah (The Glorified and High). There were many men who spent their possessions in the way of Allah, but the very first person was a woman named Khadijah (May Allah be pleased with her), who sacrificed her possesions in the way of Allah. In the effort of the person, a person can give one morning or one evening in the way of Allah, and the highest level is if one gets killed in the way of Allah (become martyred). Many of the Sahabahs became>martyred, but the very first martyr was a woman by the name of Hadhrat Sumaiya (may Allah be pleased with>her) who earned the status of being a martyr. All the people that make efforts with their wealth, and the time, all the way through to the day of judgement, the>rewards will go back to Hadhrat Khadijah and Hadhrat Sumaiya (May Allah be pleased with them both.)
Just like prophet Muhammed (May Allah's peace and>blessings be upon him) migrated, all his daughters migrated. All of his wives also migrated. All of his aunts also migrated. Prophet Muhammed (May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) showed how to make efforts in the religions for the men, and he also>showed how to make efforts in the religions for the women. When Prophet Muhammed (May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) underwent starvation and hunger, his daughters and their children also underwent starvation and hunger. As Muhammed (May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) went in the path of Allah, his beloved daughter Zainab (May Allah be pleased with her) also went in the path of Allah. While in Medina, Muhammed (May Allah's peace and>blessings be upon him) has gone on forty five expeditions, many of his wives also went with him on those expeditions. If we desire that the whole world>accept the religion of Allah, for this reason the men must make the efforts, and the women must also make the efforts. Muhammed (May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) taught the method to convey Allah's religion to men, and he taught the method to the women.
As the men of the Ummah have the fortune of being the deputies of Muhammed (May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him), the women of the Ummah have the fortune of being the deputies of Muhammed (May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him). Just as men amongst the Muslims are responsible for the effort of the guidance of the entire humanity, the women amongst the Muslims are responsible for the effort of the guidance of the entire humanity. Understand, that the effort of prophet Muhammed (May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him), the effort for women, and to make effort for women, and to make effort for the effort of women is very important. The meanings of a hadith is that the uprightness and piety of a woman is heavier (on the scales of deeds on the day of judgment) than the piety of 70 men put together. And that the evil of an evil woman is equal to the evil of a thousand men put together. So the effort for the good of women brings greater benefit, and the effort to corrupt women brings greater devastation. Just like for men to increase their faith by making Dawah (call to Allah) on a daily basis, the women must also make Dawah (call to Allah) on a daily basis to increase their faith. The environment at home is the environment that the woman makes at home.
The woman is usually at home, and the children have a greater love for the mother. The mother changes their clothes. She cooks for them nice cooked meals. In general the mothers are more tender, whereas the fathers are more stern. These kinds of attitudes is generally required for the correct upbringing of the children. One of the parents should be softhearted, and the other a little more stern. If both are too softhearted, the kids don't turn out good. If both are harsh and stern, then also the kids don't turn out good. In general, the father, he gives the orders: Why didn't you do this, and why didn't you do that. The mother shows love and affection and gives her child food and drink and things of pleasure. If the mother keeps telling her children, your father is always in the way of Allah, he doesn't take care of me or you, and if this is what the children hear all the time, the children will turn against the father. If the mother tells her children that your father is a good man, he goes in the way of Allah, and does the effort of the deen (Islam), and he is doing a good job, and doing good deeds, I should be doing this, and you should be doing this, the children will love their father.
The biggest work for a muslim woman is to establish the environment of Iman (faith) inside her home. To establish the environment of Iman, it is not neccesary that the woman be a scholar, or be a graduate of a big Islamic school. Unlearned women can also establish the environment of Iman in the home. How to establish the Iman? Always talk about Iman. According to the level of the child, the mother can talk to her child about three things:
1. Everything that is visible outside, to the child, the mother should tell the children that all this is created by Allah. The sky, the moon, the stars, everything Allah has created. The mountains, the oceans the trees, everything on the land, are creations of Allah. The plane which just flew above us, the metal which the plane is made of, is created by Allah. The pilot that flies the plane, he is also created by Allah. The one that created it, is also the controller of it. A woman ought to say these things from her own tongue, and get the children to say the same thing from their tongues.
2. The second thing is the house and whatever is inside the home. The mother should always be mentioning that Allah gave those things. Allah has given us this house. Allah gave us these clothes. Allah has given us this food. Allah has given us this pen. What is apparent is that the father came from outside and put a Kufi (cap) on the child. The mother can ask the child, who gave you this cap? The child will say, father gave it to me. The mother should say, no, the father didn't give it, Allah gave it. The child may insist that the father gave it, but the mother must repeat it many times until it sinks in the heart of the child that Allah gave it. The dua(supplication) after eating is that we thank Allah who has fed us and given us drink. The parents did not feed us, Allah fed us. When we wake up from our sleep we say our dua, thanks to Allah who has awoken us after our sleep. It looks as if the parents have put the child to sleep, and awoken the child, but it is Allah who put the child to sleep and awoken thechild. The mind and heart of the child should be cultivated to thinks in the child's very heart that Allah is the giver. The things the mother says, the father should say the same thing. The children, when they need something they run to the mother. When they go to their mother, the mother should tell the child to run to Allah for his needs. The child goes to the mother and says, I need a pen. The mother should say, Allah gave you an old pen, and Allah will give you a new pen as well. My dear son, make wudu (washing before prayer), pray the Salaat, and ask Allah for a new pen. The daughter may ask her mother, I need some new shoes. The mother can respond, Allah gave you your old shoes, and Allah will give you a new pair of shoes. Make wudu and pray Salaat, and ask Allah for a new pair of shoes. The mother should encourage her child to ask from Allah so much, the children learn to ask from Allah on their own. The children learn to ask from Allah for their needs, when they see that their parents also go to Allah for their needs. Those parents that teach their children to ask Allah for their needs, like food for example, those parents would have taught their children a lifelong lesson.
In the home, if there is a 7 year old daughter, 5 year old son, and a 2 year old son. If the 2 year old has a fever. You come home, and you find the fever in your 2 year old, and become worried, what should I do. You say quickly get some money, take the son in the car and run to the doctor. The other childrens faith becomes affected. The children will think that when the father needed some help, that he ran to money. The children will think, that the parents are teaching us to ask from Allah, but when they themselves need some help they run to the money. The belief that the relief in money is the root of all evils. The children will think, that the parents are teaching us to ask from Allah, but when they themselves need some help they run to the money. The belief that the relief in money is the root of all evils. The government systems that are filled with bribes, is because of the evil of money. The businessmen that cheat is because of the evil of money. The robberies and theft are because of the wrong determination in money. Today, with the wrong determination of the parents on money, in every house kids are being born. What should happen? The kids should be brought in front of the parents, and spoken to, oh my dear child, one of our children has got a fever; where did it come from? Only Allah can remove it. You make wudhu, we, the mother and father will make wudhu. You pray, and we will also pray. You make the dua (supplication) and we will also make dua. Giving in charity drives away the tribulations. Take this money and give it to such and such widow. After that, then resort to medication; In that also the determination should be there that the cure does not come from medication; but the cure comes from Allah.
For seventy years, the work of dawah and tabligh has been going on, but in some cases there has not been significant change. Why not? Because those many muslim women that are in the world, they are busy in their own homes spoiling the faith of their children. By the numbers, there are many more women, and the number of men in the work of dawah and tabligh are smaller. By the work of the men involved in the work of Dawah and Tabligh, if they are able to convince one thousand men to come closer Allah, in that much time one hundred thousand children would have become corrupted by the women in the homes. Unfortunately today, muslim homes have become a factory of corrupting the faith. That is why it is important for every place in the world, in every Muslim home, that it become a place for producing Iman (faith). Won't you make your homes a place for producing Iman, inshaallah (Allah willing)? (Response from audience: Yes.) The environment of Iman in the home will bring with it the environment of Salaat (prayer). After seven years old, the prayers should be started for the child. Usually what happens for the child: let him play, and let him enjoy and eat, when he gets older then he will pray. When the child becomes eleven or twelve, and the habits are developed for the child, then he doesn't come for the prayers.
The true affection for the children is that which Hadhrat Muhammed (May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) had showed us. At seven years, the child should be told to make the salaat. He should be taught how to pray. The virtues of the prayer, the regulations of the prayer, and the etiquettes of the prayer should be taught to them. When the prayers are started, the other actions should be started for the children.
The dhikr(rememberance of Allah) should be started for the children. Three tasbeehat (glorifications) in the morning and the evening, sitting at one place with peace of mind, should be enjoined on the kids. The women amongst the sahabah (the companions of Muhammed[May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him]) used to develope the habit of fasting for the child while the child was in the nursing stage. Three tasbeehat (glorifications), every women in the home should do, morning and evening, facing towards the Qiblah (Mecca).
Every women should on a daily basis recite on juz (one thirtieth) of the Quran. The correct recitation of the Quran on the kids is the responsibility of the women; the men should help in>this responsibility. The men that go in the way of Allah, and hear many talks, their recitation is not correct; how about their women that are at home? The children should be encouraged to recite the holy Quran. If any of them become a hafiz (memorizer of the whole Quran), then Glory to Allah, and thanks to Allah. If not the whole Quran, than at least that much that they could use in doing their prayers. The primary responsibility for the kids to learn the Quran rests on the parents. The responsibilty of the the school and the teachers are secondary. The musnoon duas (the classical supplications) before every work and after every work, the mother should be doing this, and the father, and these should be taught to the kids as well. So inside the home, the environment should be that of Iman (faith), the salaat (prayer), dhikr (rememberance of Allah), and the duas (supplications). The hands could be busy working, and the tongue could be busy with the rememberance of Allah.
The men went to work, the children went to school, and the woman is at home, and if she is afraid of being alone at home, she should start the dhikr (rememberance) of Allah The Glorified and the High. Those periods that are empty should be filled with the rememberance of Allah (The Glorified and High). The saying of the Messenger of Allah (May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) , is that there should be no time that is void of the rememberance of Allah. The tongue should be moist with the rememberance of Allah. In every home there should be the gatherings of teaching daily. As long as the teachings of Allah are occuring, the mercy of Allah will be present there. The peace and tranquility will be there. Allah will remember those that are participating in the gathering in a better gathering. The greatest thing is that the angels of mercy will surround the gathering, and pile up from the earth to the heavens. That much time that the children will be sitting in the gathering, they will be in the company of the angels. Therefore they will become pious and obedient and of courteous manners like the angels. If the children are always in the environment of the shaitan, and if they are going to school and are in the environment of the shaitan; if they are outside in the locality in the environment of the shaitan. We know what is inside of our homes. Then when all the time the children are in the environment of the shaitan, what will the children become if not like the shaitan? Therefore it is of great importance that we have the gatherings of teaching in the home.
How long should the gathering be? Two hours; One and a Half hours; One hour; at least half an hour. Fifteen to twenty minutes should be spent from reading the book Fazail Amal. Five to ten minutes should be spent going over the points of Dawah. Today the son should say the points. Tommorow the daughter should go over the points. The next day the mother should say the points. The next day the father should go over the points. If the grandmother is at home, she should also go over the points. Why? So that every person in the home could be a dai'yy (caller to Allah). Every person in the home should have a concern in their heart that the resposibility of conveying the message to all of humanity is on me.>> For the children, it is not enough to teach them, but also to show them (by example). When the child sees the father lying down, taken his kufi (Islamic cap) off, and taken his shirt off. When the time for the gathering of teaching came, he put on his kufi and his shirt. He performed Wudu and came to the gathering in the condition of closeness to Allah. After the child sees this for a few days, he will also start sitting in this condition of closeness to Allah. In five to ten minutes, going over the names of the points, would be imprinted on the child. If going over a point, the number of verses of the Quran, and the number of Hadiths, one could spend hours going over each one, and it would still not be complete. Teach about the Great Power of Allah. Teach about how Allah Created all things. Teach about how Allah helped all His prophets.
The children should hear the story of the prophets. The children should hear the story of the Sahabah (the companions of prophet Muhammed, may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him). Khalid (May Allah be pleased with him), was like this, he did this and that, when this happened, he did this and that. Hadhrat Bilal (May Allah be pleased with him) made these sacrifices, and he became a Muazzin (caller to>prayer). Instead of the stories that are circulating these days, the stories of the Sahabah should be told to the children. You must talk to your wives about these stories so that they could convey them to their children. The regular gatherings of teaching will generate a desire to follow the religion. In the environment of teaching faith, the faith will get strong and be strong in our hearts. The faith would allow the woman to find out what are the commandments of Allah, and what are the traditions of the the messenger of Allah (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him). Then the women and the children will ask their husbands and>fathers to go to the scholars and the imams and ask about how many orders of Allah, and traditions of the messenger of Allah (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) are applied in our homes. If>the work of increasing the faith in the homes is occuring, it will increase the capabilities to accept>the commandements of Allah The Glorified and The Highest.
Many times in the gatherings for the women, the brothers may give a little advise about wearing a scarf for the women. The brothers may not have made efforts to increase his faith, but give the orders about wearing a scarf. This way is not the right way. First, a person must make the effort to increase the faith in the home, and then when strong faith comes, then they will find out what are the commandments of Allah The Glorified and High, which they will fulfill, and they will realize that the success comes from following those orders, and the failure results from going away from those orders.
